In David DeAngelo seminar, “On Being a Man”, he points out the social disconnection from our intrinsic nature as Western culture lacks a ceremonial transition to manhood. Many males need to figure out the meaning of manhood for themselves and lot of them will never do.
Lot of men are not really men, they are only boys pretending to be a man. They are grown but not grown up. In order to be a man, a boy must die.
Initialization process of manhood in primitive cultures is made by rituals. For example, ways to manhood in Masai tribes are designed to weed out the weaklings. One of the examples is lion-hunting. Masai men were only considered true warriors once they brought down a lion using only a spear and shield. Needless to say, that not everyone returned back alive.
As a man, you should be more responsible for things around you. You should make sure that things in the world and with people that you like are ok. Boys run away, that is not their problem.
Signs of maturity:
- Style – The mature man strives for excellence in every area, is dominant and fun.
- Decisiveness – Have you ever met the guys who stress to make a decision? The mature man has no problem to make a decision about his life and relationships. He is clear in what he wants, likes and dislikes.
- Responsibility – Man who is complaining about things and blaming others lacks maturity. The mature man is nobody’s victim or whiner and accepts things as they are with no judgement and then tries to change them.
- Composure – The mature man finds his purpose and course in life and stay on it. He can express what’s going on in his heart and mind without outbursts.
- Authenticity – The mature man needs nothing external to be happy. Be yourself and do not change your behaviour just to avoid displeasing someone.
- Sense what is right and good in the world.
Whatever you were or happened to you in the past, forgive yourself and focus on the future.